Dainty Diva
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Heaven/God/Fate is totally unkind to me. Its been almost a month and it is still haunting me.
Even when i sleep, i dream of him. A few nights ago, i dreamt of him being together with this gal... and this is the same gal whom i suspect he is currently interested in.
This is so disturbing. If its true, then all those 'tired of fulfilling a bf's duties, want to be single and alone, not ready to settle down' are just bullshit... simply excuses to get rid of me. Then i am so upset, for my 'ability to keep one interested' is only worth 8 months. But seriously till now, i don't know the real reason behind our break up. Haa. That is probably why i feel so imbalanced.
But it is also so crazy. I am ill-treating myself, i guess. At this point in time, i really shouldn't be concerned and bothered about his life anymore. Who he is going out with, what he does... shouldn't be of my concern anymore. But i just can't help it at times... there are so many things i can connect with. I simply think too much...
When i think Mac/instant noodles/coffee bean, i think him.
When i think Longhouse/Prata House/Icekimo, i think him.
When i think the airport/Ikea, i think him.
When i think the Coach bag/Zara dress/Ripples slippers, i think him.
I wish i'll knock my head and get partial memory loss.
This whole week was terrible for me. I guess more and more colleagues have got to know what happened. They kept asking me 'Are you ok?' and comments like 'You lost a lot of weight lately.. anything wrong?' I thank them for being concerned if they geniunely are. But it seems like they just want to hear what happened from my mouth.
No doubt Busybody #1 and #2 are the ones spreading the word. Busybody #2 told his boss about my issue over lunch. Hello... this is not work-related; you don't have to report it to your boss. Maybe i should just make a public announcement in the office so that the busybodies can take a break. I don't mind that people know what happened cos sooner or later, everyone will know. But i hate it that people are publicizing it like some world-shattering news.
Busybody #1 has the biggest mouth ever! Goes round telling people (and people came to tell me) that i am in a bad mood recently, face black black... obviously people will probe for the reason and she cant be happier to break the news. What she doesn't know is, i am in a bad mood due to her sucky attitude and super big mouth! I wish i could confront her!
Not only that, she tried to sabotage me! 2 days ago, i went for doctor's appointment and told my boss i would like to take 2 hours time off in the morning. But its so difficult to keep track so i took half day instead. Busybody #1 didn't know of the change and i heard that, slightly after 10.30am, she went to my boss and said that i stated 2 hours time off in my email but she hasn't seen me come to the office yet. Her behaviour really irks me!
My boss is another one who is pissing me off lately. Her whole mind is filled with the DnD that she doesn't give a damn about any other things. I understand the event is nearing and the RC is busy preparing for it. Afterall, they are working hard for the whole company. But being in the management level, i think she should be more professional in balancing work and RC matters. All my work which requires her approval or advice, i am pushing them back. I rather pile up backlog than to hear her half-hearted answers.
I feel so much better after ranting. If any of you have been reading all the way to this point, thanks for being with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~